I AM A WOMAN WHO…

Last month I had the pleasure of attending TedxOlympicBlvdWomen.

At the Tedx event, photographer Jill Valle was doing her, I AM A WOMAN WHO… project.

Jill “uses portrait photography and confessional writing to explore the threads that connect women to other women in the world, no matter what their backgrounds or experiences. It inspires the release of raw, uncensored truths captured in the moment through stream-of-consciousness writing coupled with imagery that serves as both catalyst and canvas.”

I feel so fortunate that I was able to participate in this cool project.

MEL
Image: Jill Valle

“I Am A Woman Who is empowered to live the life I DESIRE who is a mom wife sister aunt daughter and friend. those titles may embody me but they don’t DEFINE me. i am a woman who has been through LOSS and HEARTache and who has come out the other side WHO helps other women to move through transformation who perseveres through challenges and is determined, caring, loving and AUTHENTIC. WHO is ON A MISSION to live my best LIFE and to help other women to do the same. I AM A WOMAN WHO is FEARLESS.” – MEL

If you are in the Southern California area, then consider participating in this AWESOME project. There is an open call casting on Saturday, June 27th at New Roads School in Santa Monica, CA.

Ride the wave – grief and joy

Today is a day to celebrate. Today is a day that makes my heart ache. The ebb and flow of my emotions swirls like a rip current.

I could panic and get caught up in the overwhelm of opposing emotions, but that would leave me stuck, treading dangerous waters that could exhaust me to the point where I feel like I’m drowning.

Ride the wave. Don’t panic.

Recognize. Allow. Investigate. Not identify. RAIN is a powerful mindfulness meditation technique and is useful at all times, but especially when caught in the tide of overwhelm. Recognize your emotions, allow them to be there and move through you, investigate these feelings and hold them without judgement, then choose to not identify with them. They can be there and you can be open to them without them pulling you under.

Image: http://www.mindful.org

This works…when you practice it. It’s easy to get caught up in overwhelm and it happens, but when you become more mindful of your emotions, suddenly you’re not drowning.

I’m in a juxtaposition between grief and joy. Grief is a topic I’ve touched on before and one that is always there, but is definitely more encompassing on certain days. Today is one of those days. Today is my sister’s birthday.
Today is also a day of celebration, as my whole family is together to celebrate the wedding of my nephew tomorrow. Her absence is so present, as the family gathers without her. It’s a joyous time, but the grief permeates through. Everyone is together, but Stacy is not here. We gather without her, yet she is in our hearts at all times. In our togetherness, we honor her memory. I celebrate her today, but I’m grieving her loss. My heart strings are being stretched at both ends.

Through the grief, I welcome the joy. I celebrate my nephew and his bride to be. I have immense gratitude that this joyous event brings us together.

Today, on a day where I could easily be suffocated by the swirls of emotions, I’m honoring these feelings, allowing them to be there, recognizing them with an open mind, investigating them with kindness and curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is by not identifying. I can feel it and let it move through me without allowing it to pull me under.

I’m choosing to ride the wave, not fight the current.

Graduation Day – Let the Happy Dance Commence!

Life is so much about the connections we make with others and how those connections have the power to change the shape and course of our lives. Who would have thought that a connection in summer camp, some 30 years ago, would have changed the course of my life today?

In 2009, I reconnected on Facebook with a friend from my summer camp days. We had a quick reconnect/catch-up chat six years ago, but that was pretty much the extent of it until January 2014. She posted something on Facebook about the nutrition school she attended and naturally it caught my eye:

This was my message to her:

“Hey Jessica! Happy New Year! Hope it’s off to a great start and hope you’re doing well.

I’m so intrigued by your posting about the IIN offer. Can you tell me more? I’ve long since wished I would have gone down the nutritionist path, but feel time isn’t on my side for a career change. That’s where my passion really is. Just not sure I have it in me though.

If you’ve got some time to tell me about your experience and more about the offer and IIN, then that would be great. Would love to have your insight.

Hope you’re well.

Xo”

Well, guess what? I did have it in me! I knew it was my passion then and it is solidified to the nth degree now.

My conversation with Jessica about IIN could have gone several ways, but because of our connection and her loving and supportive nature, she helped me realize that time and money were excuses that I was letting stand in my way of my dreams and they would forever be excuses. If I was to wait until that day comes when there is enough time and/or money…well, it may never come. Life keeps getting busier and it’s about having the courage to prioritize and make the time for what is important in life.

Taking the plunge and signing up for the Health Coach Training Program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition was by far one of the best decisions I have EVER made! From the moment I read the first page of the workbook, to the first lecture, to the very last, I knew that I could turn my passion into the career I had always dreamed about. I knew I wanted to be a health coach to help change peoples lives for the better, not only through healthy eating and lifestyle, but also by empowering people to fulfill their desires and create a life they love, to live their best life!

My reconnection with Jessica has also provided me the unique opportunity to  join a team of heart-centered wellness entrepreneurs. It is a community connection that is changing how I will do business and has already provided me some amazing experiences that are fostering my growth in business. I am so grateful to have connected with such insightful, experienced, loving and kick-ass ladies, who are empowering one another to be our best selves, in life and in business.

Today, I graduate from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, as a Health Coach. I am so proud, so grateful for the support of my family and friends, especially my husband, who always tells me to “Go for it!”, and so unbelievably excited for all that’s to come. My dreams are coming true because I’m making them!

The Power of Positive Thinking and the “I Can’t” Challenge.

On Friday, I had the unique opportunity to be at my daughter’s school to listen to a guest speaker. I’m not sure who was more enthralled by it, the parents or the kids…likely a tie! It was so powerful, so inspiring and absolutely amazing. Days later and I am still thinking about it and the incredible spirit of this young lady. Truly amazing.

I was lucky enough to hear Jen Bricker tell her story. An acrobat and aerial artist, tumbling champion and former Junior Olympian. All of that in and of itself is amazing, but what makes it even more incredible is that Jen Bricker has no legs. Yes, an acrobat, aerial artist, and tumbling champion, with no legs. Her story goes far deeper than being born without legs. She was abandoned at the hospital upon her birth and the couple that adopted her at three months old raised her in the most admirable way. I have never met them, but I think they may be two of the most remarkable people on earth. The way they raised their daughter is so inspiring. She was raised to never use the word, “can’t.” In her own words, she said her parents, “never put a ceiling on my dreaming.” They lifted her up in every sense of the word, supported her, and engrained in her a life without limits.

She says she is living the life she was meant to live and it is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to. Her positive outlook, gratitude and courage is so inspiring. We are all living the life we are meant to live and it is up to us how we choose to interpret it and let it play out. It is up to each one of us to move forward with an attitude that encompasses gratitude for what we have and an open mind and receptivity for the possibilities that exist and that we can create. In the words of Jen Bricker’s parents, “Never put a ceiling on your dreaming.”

We are all presented with obstacles and challenges in life, some far greater or more difficult than others, but with whatever we are presented, we have two choices: a negative or positive outlook/response to the situation. The choice is ours alone. This is a power that can change the course of our lives in how we choose to approach any situation. Had Jen Bricker’s parents allowed for her to resolve herself to a negative outlook on her situation in life, can you imagine how different her life would look? She took the high road, the optimistic and positive road, and that has made all the difference.

A positive approach breeds gratitude and more positivity in your life. When you allow optimism in, then your mindset shifts, allowing for limitless capabilities. I challenge you to take the phrase, “I can’t,” out of your vocabulary. What would shift in your life if you allowed yourself to opt for optimism and a positive mindset? Dream high, dream low, dream big, dream small…just dream, believe and then DO!!!

Bye, Bye 30’s…hello 40! Bring it on!

Today is the last day in my 30’s. Tomorrow I turn 40! Yes, the big 4-0! Happy Birthday to me!

Every year when my birthday rolls around (thankfully!), I’m usually caught in that dread of “Another year has gone by and what do I have to show for it?” Not that people are keeping track of what I’m doing per se, it’s more the pressure I put on myself to do and be more. In the past, I generally haven’t had too much excitement about the impending day or even wanting to celebrate it, but this year is different. I’m actually excited about my birthday, I will definitely be celebrating it, and I’m embracing the fact that I’m turning 40!!! Woohoo!

Maybe it’s because when I look back on this last year, I feel really good about it. 2014 was a great year! I don’t have the usual sense of good riddance to last year or worrying about what I didn’t do or accomplish, because during this last year, I did some introspection and I took some risks, which manifested in a greater sense of purpose. By far, it was one of the more challenging years for me with all that I had going on, but I know those challenges are what made it such a great year. Growth comes from challenging one’s self.

Maybe it’s the fact that at 40, I’ve finally figured out what I want to do with my life and it has left me feeling energized, invigorated, and more passionate. I refuse to spend any more time worrying about why it took me this long to figure it out, because not only is that futile, but I’ve also come to realize that everything happens at the time when it is supposed to happen. I took one step, one really scary step, which enabled me to step off the perpetual “hamster wheel” of life and it propelled me to realize my desires.

I’ve experienced a lot during this last year – ups and downs, losses and gains, old and new, but every single experience has served a purpose and has encouraged growth. I look back on this last year in my 30’s with a sense of pride and I look forward to what’s to come with so much excitement.

I feel empowered, I feel joy, I feel love, and above all, I feel incredibly grateful. I have immense gratitude for my family, my friends, the experiences I’ve had, and for this life, this beautiful life. Here’s to making my 40’s absolutely AMAZING!

“Just a salad.” Think again…this is so much more.

I love salad! It is one of my favorites and I love experimenting with adding different veggies. Sometimes the salad building gets a bit out of control, especially when I need to try and fit it into a container for lunch.

In this salad masterpiece:

organic mixed greens and organic baby arugula

organic micro baby greens

organic pea shoots

organic Persian cucumbers

tomatoes

roasted red and yellow peppers

artichoke hearts

avocado

garbanzo bean salad (Balela from Trader Joe’s – garbanzo beans, black beans, spices, lemon…it’s so yummy!)

Once I started eating the salad, I realized I forgot to add the organic crimini mushrooms and organic beets, which I promptly added to the next salad with all of the above ingredients.

When I am wanting a bit more of a protein punch, then I will add quinoa or Quorn brand “chicken.” Quorn is a meat free alternative that I love because it is also soy free and totally delicious.

Truth be told, I did not make my own dressing this time, but I love to experiment with that too.

My go to dressing ingredients:

Organic apple cider vinegar

olive oil

dijon mustard

lemon juice

salt and pepper

So, for any people who don’t want to eat “just a salad” because they are afraid they won’t feel full after, then I challenge any of those people to gorge themselves on one of my creations. Totally filling. Totally healthy. Totally yummy. Enjoy!

Tell me…what are some of your favorite salad creations?

Grief is a loaded word…

Grief. Defined as deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.

But, wow, it is so much more than that simple definition.

Seven years ago I entered into the depths of grief and lived the definition, unwillingly.

It is heart and gut-wrenching despair that encompasses my entire being. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes predictable with looming birthdays, anniversaries, or other important dates, and at times it hits me out of nowhere…a scent, a song, a tulip, or a random person who at quick glance has a striking resemblance to Stacy…and with that my heart sinks, the tears well up, the grief rushes in and is insurmountable. I miss my sister with every ounce of my soul and the most difficult thing for me to try to wrap my head around is the finality of it.

Stacy is gone. FOREVER.

Yes, of course she lives on in my memories, but there is no picking up the phone to vent to her about my call for jury duty, no more coffee dates at Starbuck’s, no more road trips or shopping excursions, no more hugs, no more of ANYTHING. My children will never meet their Aunt Stacy, and they will only know of her through my memories. The pain and heartache of that is beyond difficult, it hurts so much. She would have loved and adored them and doted on them like crazy. They will never know her like they deserve to.

Stacy is gone. FOREVER.

No one can accurately describe grief, because it is different for everyone. While some people may be able to relate to your grief and loss, as they may have encountered it in their life, their experience with it will be different from yours. The thought that time will heal all wounds is a straight out lie. Maybe over time you become able to better manage your grief or the grieving process changes, but there is no “healing” from this. I will never “get over” the loss of my sister. NEVER.

While I do not wish for anyone to have to experience grief like this, it is a fact of life. Whether you are prepared for it or not, it is a concept that cannot be grasped, only experienced. In my life, I really try to look on the bright side of things and see things with a glass half full approach, and in a way I feel guilty for trying to see the positive because it seems so wrong in my mind, but I have to remind myself that there is nothing that will bring Stacy back, although I’ve pleaded this through my tears.

Stacy is gone. FOREVER.

My trying to see the positive doesn’t mean that I am at peace with her loss or that I miss her any less. I think Stacy’s loss gave me the gift of realizing and further embedding into my beliefs the importance of family. Family has always, always, always been the most important thing in my life, but Stacy’s death reaffirmed that importance and brought us all infinitely closer and cemented the strength of our family.

Stacy is irreplaceable. There is nothing that could replace that love or that loss. But, with Stacy’s loss I gained a brother. Richard was Stacy’s husband, so while he was always a part of our family as my brother-in-law, our relationship grew tenfold and in a much more organic way after her death. I am beyond thankful to have him in my life and to have the relationship we do. Stacy’s gift to me, I’d like to think. As are the relationships I have with my parents and sister, Laura. My parents, Laura, and Richard, are pillars of strength, and although we may all grieve together, we do so separately too, because our grief looks inherently different from one another.

You can try and define grief, but it’s difficult to find the words that truly express the emotion.

I remember every moment of that day from the minute I got that call seven years ago that forever changed my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about or miss my sister, Stacy. She was one-of-a-kind, had a zest and spunk that couldn’t be duplicated. She left an indelible mark on me and everyone she came into contact with. She had an energy about her that drew people in and she loved to be the life of the party. I miss her so much it hurts my heart. There are a million things I would say to Stacy now, but none more important or simple than, “I love you.”

Imperfectly perfect

“Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.” John Wooden

Perfection.

I’ve let the fear of being less than perfect stand in my way too many times of going after what I want. Why is failure so difficult to accept? Being afraid to fail keeps me stuck and derails my progress to move forward.

Not anymore. I’m moving towards acceptance. Accepting imperfection. Accepting failure.

A message that keeps being echoed by successful entrepreneurs and business people alike is that one NEEDS to fail in order to succeed.

My friends are so smart and I share with you their words around a couple of conversations I had with them about perfection, and I’m paraphrasing a bit as I mistakenly did not write it down. See? Mistake. I’m not perfect. And that’s OKAY. (I do have to tell it to myself, in hopes if I say it out loud…or on paper, that it makes it true. And it’s on the internet, so it must be true! WHAT?!?! Not everything on the internet is true? Say it isn’t so.) Anyways, I digress…

I was talking with my good friend and running buddy, Jennifer, about a job interview that I had and how I ultimately did not get the job. To me, I saw that as a failure, because I did not achieve what I set out to do. Her take – not a failure at all. According to her, I put myself out there and took a risk, learned from the experience, causing personal growth and what about that is failing?

Perspective. It’s all about looking at things from a different angle.

I was talking with my friend, Jessica, about perfection and my new found outlook working on accepting being less than perfect. She said she was a recovering perfectionist. I love that notion! She also said that imperfection is perfection, because it creates what is supposed to happen. She reminded me that some of the world’s most amazing inventions were mistakes. The slinky, silly putty, the chocolate chip cookie! Seriously, the chocolate chip cookie might be the most imperfect, perfect invention EVER! Quite possibly, imperfection and perfection are intertwined.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.” Confucius

Is this blog post perfect? Nope. But guess what? That’s okay. I accept it in all its imperfectness and that right there is PERFECT!

What’s new and good?

This is scary, but scary isn’t always bad…

I’m challenging myself to new things and opening up myself to new possibilities and I couldn’t be more excited.

Welcome to blog posting #1!

There are a lot of exciting things happening in my life…creating a new business that I’m passionate about, joining an incredible team that supports my passions, and taking progressive steps to live my best life!

I’ve been dreaming about having a blog for years, and although I love to write and the accessibility was right there at my fingertips, I never did it. “Who would read it?” The voice in my head continuously echoed. Well, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter who reads it. I know at least a handful of people will, and so what if those people happen to be my relatives and feel obligated to read it…Hi Mom!

The point is I want to help people live their best life…a life that embodies good health, good nutrition, fitness and ultimately, brings them happiness.

I’m really excited about joining forces with USANA Health Sciences. USANA is a worldwide leader in the field of health and nutrition. The company develops and manufactures high-quality nutritional, self-preserving personal care, energy, and weight management products that are sold directly to the consumer. I’m distributing their products because I believe in them.

USANA Health Sciences encompasses three brands: USANA^® Nutritionals, USANA^® Foods, and Sensé—beautiful science^®.

USANA Nutritionals
Comprised of both the Essentials and the Optimizers, these high-quality USANA Nutritionals are designed to provide the micronutrients (vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and other compounds) your body needs for optimal, lifelong health by providing a complete and balanced spectrum of nutrients and antioxidants to help counteract poor nutrition and free-radical damage.

USANA Foods
These great-tasting meal- and snack-replacements provide the macronutrients (low-glycemic carbohydrates, high-quality proteins, and beneficial fats) your body needs to build health, maintain your weight, and sustain energy levels.*

Sensé—beautiful science^®
USANA’s patented self-preserving skin- and personal-care products provide the latest breakthroughs in the science of skin and personal care. The products deliver ingredients that effectively refine, replenish, and support the skin at the cellular level.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

To create a unique plan for you based on exactly what you need most, then fill out The True Health Assessment.

 

That’s what is new and good in my world.

Hey, thanks for reading! For those who stuck it out to the end, submit a comment, and I’ll randomly select a winner to receive free USANA product. To sweeten the pot, and to see if anyone other than family read my new blog, my relatives are ineligible to win…sorry Mom!

Stick around…lots more exciting stuff to come!

 

xo

Mel